Pizza Roulette!

I've accepted a challenge to play a game of Pizza Roulette! You can read over the challenge HERE! It's like Russian Roulette, except that instead of a bullet, one slice of pizza will be loaded up with a Ghost Pepper. So it's actually a bit worse than Russian Roulette.

Here are the rules:

Buy Pizza

Load one slice of pizza with the ghost pepper (one of the world's hottest peppers, you can buy this online or at some shops)

Cook it!

Put the pizza onto any object that spins well and will hold the whole pizza comfortably.

Spin the pizza around.

Eat the slice facing you.

Hope that the slice isn't loaded with pure agony.

If you cannot prove that you have put the ghost pepper on the pizza, no gold for you. You can't use any other type of chilli.

Reward: One month of Reddit Gold.

Seems simple enough. Here I go!

Bonus Round! Rules are:

•  Do not drink milk/any other substance that stops chilli pain within a minute of eating the slice of doom.
• Eat the entire slice of pizza with the chilli on. No crapping out after one or two bites.
• No screaming/moaning in agony.
• After eating the cursed slice (and before drinking anything to cure the pain), you must cry out the following: "/u/ConsiderablyMediocre is the greatest, I can not thank him any more for placing this wonderful gift upon me!"
• Play black metal in the background while playing, to prove your manliness. You must sing along to it after eating the slice and before drinking anything to cure the pain. Whether you do this before or after proclaiming your love for me is your choice.
• Also mention Ol_Dirty_Man.

Reward: Two months of Reddit Gold, a hand written congratulatory letter, and a hand drawn depiction of my suffering.

This was a bit more of a challenge. The song playing in the background in Infinite Fields of Mind, by Abigail Williams. Enjoy!

A Dozen Eggs in 3 Minutes

SeeScottRock, who is currently one of my favorite challengers, posted a another food challenge called A SLIGHTLY LESS ASANINE EATING CHALLENGE!!!

The rules are:

1.) MAKE A DOZEN HARD BOILED (GRADE A LARGE FROM A CHICKEN, YOU LOOPHOLE FINDING NUTJOBS) EGGS.

2.) SET A TIMER FOR 3 MINUTES.

3.) EAT AS MANY EGGS AS YOU CAN (WHOLE, NO BITES. PUT THE WHOLE EGG IN YOUR MOUTH AND CHEW ON IT, ONE AT A TIME) IN THAT 3 MINUTES.

4.) ONE MONTH OF GOLD PER 4 EGGS. UP TO 3 MONTHS IS YOUR REWARD. NOTHING IF YOU VOMIT.

5.) P.S. - NO LIQUIDS ;-)

And the Reward:

1 month of Reddit Gold.

I have to admit, I thought this was going to be a piece of cake. Boy,was I wrong. I started off strong, but right around egg five or six I hit a wall. I suddenly just got so sick of the taste. I ended up gagging twice during the challenge.

SeeScottRock mentions in a comment that one of the most difficult parts of the challenge is the dryness of the yolks, much like in the Saltine Challenge, but this wasn't a huge issue for me, but I've hardly eaten all day so maybe my mouth was watering? Who knows...

Also, I totally got the guy's name wrong! In the video I call him SeeScottRun! Dude, if you're reading this, I apologize.

Also also, I totally cough up a chunk of chewed egg yolk on about egg #10, I believe! Oh, the shame...

Here's the video!

The Random Six-Pack

I took on a challenge to eat six random cans of food out of my pantry.

Rules/Directions:

1. Start rolling that camera.
2. Walk to your pantry.
3. Grab the first 6 cans of food you see.
4. Open and dump half of each can into one bowl.
5. Mix them up.
6. Eat it all.

Reward:

1. 2 months of Reddit Gold.

Here's the video:

By far the sauerkraut and the beets were the worst things in there. Sauerkraut was the worst of the two, by a wide margin. Every bite was just permeated by that sour, acidic taste. Disgusting. 

By the end of it, I poured the juice into a glass and drank the rest of it.

I was gagging periodically which is really more surprising than anything. I've always had a strong stomach. Even the Pepper Challenge didn't upset my stomach, though I did come close to throwing up after the ghost pepper. 

About halfway through this challenge, I wanted pretty badly to just give up. Honestly, the thought crossed my mind that it probably wasn't worth just two months of Gold, but after having come so far I didn't want it to be for nothing.

I did eventually finish the bowl.

Then I cursed SeeScottRock and threw up.

Saltine Challenge

I'm attempting the Saltine Challenge, posted by Ramtom in /r/GoForGold.

To avoid confusion, this is not the traditional Saltine Challenge, which is to eat six saltine crackers in a minute or less. Rather, this challenge is simply to eat the most possible in under a minute. More of a contest, really. The one who eats the most in a minute wins.

Here are the rules:

1. You must video tape the challenge for proof.
2. In your video, include proof that you are eating salted saltines, and proof that your mouth is empty after eating the saltines.
3. If you don't show an empty mouth after your last saltine eaten in 60 seconds you will be disqualified.
4. No water until after the video/challenge is done. Must show you aren't smuggling water in your mouth before the start.

Reward: One month of Reddit Gold.

So here is a video of me eating as many saltines as possible. 

UPDATE: I won! One month of Reddit Gold is mine!

Ghost Pepper Challenge: Complete!

So the Ghost Pepper Challenge is officially complete and I'd just like to share a few thoughts.

First of all, I don't mean to be crude, but because I know some of you are wondering, the peppers were not as spicy coming out as they were going in. This actually really surprised me. I fully expected to have some pretty ridiculous complications in my gastro-intestinals for most of this challenge.

For most of the hotter peppers, I drank a pretty good amount of milk and had some high fat and starchy foods to chase it down, so my only guess is that I managed to break down much of the capsaicin before it reached the other end. That was my goal, I just didn't really think I'd succeed. Even with the final three (Habanero, Ghost Pepper, and Trinidad Moruga Scorpian) I had a pretty sore stomach, but nothing made it all the way through.

Honestly, I was also pretty surprised that I didn't throw any of the peppers up. I've seen Ghost Pepper videos where the person eating the pepper would throw up, and a Trinidad video where the person thought he would. I was heaving for just a moment with the Ghost pepper, and I was worried I was about to puke in a friend's sink, and I think I came pretty close with the Trinidad Scorpian, but in both cases, it never happened.

Biological issues aside, I did receive a few things at the end of this challenge:

1. 3 months of Reddit Gold from DiavelNJ, Gentleman and Scholar.
2. "Fire-Eater" Title in /r/GoForGold
3. Bragging rights and a few cool stories.

Redditor_in_Wild has yet to show up with the one month of Reddit Gold he promised, but I'm not too heartbroken about it.

So that's about it. I'd be happy to answer more questions in the comments, but that's about all I have for now!

Ghost Pepper Challenge: Level 10 - Trinidad Moruga Scorpian (1,500,000 - 2,000,000 SHU)

There is a scene in Dante's Purgatory in which Dante has to walk through a cleansing flame to progress on his journey. Of that flame he says, "I would have cast me into molten glass to cool me, when I enter'd ; so intense rag'd the conflagrant mass."

These are literally the most appropriate words I can think of to describe my experience of eating the Trinidad Moruga Scorpian.

This was one of the most uncomfortable moments of my entire life. All of the same effects were there as with the Ghost Pepper, but they were all so much worse. My entire face and throat felt like it was vibrating. My lips felt like they were on fire. My mouth, tongue and throat felt like I had swallowed sand, or thumbtacks. Red hot thumbtacks.

Like Hellraiser, this pepper introduced me to new sensations in levels of intensity which were previously unimaginable.

I have literally never felt anything like this in my entire life...

Ghost Pepper Challenge: Level 9 - Ghost Pepper (855,000 - 1,463,700 SHU)

Well, I just ate a Ghost Pepper. Due to technical difficulties, I decided to skip the Red Savina. If I ever get my hands on one, I'll still eat it, but I got impatient and just wanted to eat the Ghost Pepper.

By the way, I would like to thank the wonderful gentleman at Pexpeppers.com for providing the last few peppers. Excellent service, very polite, patient, accomodating. If this were eBay, they'd get the coveted "Great Service A++++++++++++++++".

This pepper was a surprise. It was immediately unbearable. No build, no subtle rise in heat. It just exploded in a fireball of pain and regret. This is literally the most miserable I've been in a long, long time and it's the most pain I've felt in a long, long time. 

The pepper actually popped when I bit into it and you can hear it quite easily on the video. My breath was so peppery, that my friend who was present was complaining about the smell. She was sitting about 5 or 6 ft away. My entire face was tingling so bad it felt like I was being electrocuted.  My eyeballs were tingling.

At one point in the video, I mention that it feels like pins and needles in my whole mouth. I want to clarify this. I don't mean that feeling like when your leg falls asleep. I mean it literally felt like thousands of sharp, pointy bits of metal jabbing at the flesh in my mouth and throat.

I was trying desperately to think of something to sing. I'm not a singer. Here's the video...

So that's it! We'll see if my resolve holds out a few more days though. I may just go one pepper farther.....

Ghost Pepper Challenge: Level 8 - Habanero Pepper (100,000 - 350,000 SHU)

Oh man, this one actually got me pretty good. This is, by far, the hottest pepper I've had yet, and it actually tasted like it. I'm typing this a few hours after eating it and my stomach still hurts pretty good.

My whole face went numb, I was sweating, my eyes were watering. Oh man, this one was good...

I think I'm gonna take a break for a day or so before I attempt the Red Savina...

But I'm still going for it...

Ghost Pepper Challenge: Level 7 - Thai Pepper (50,000 - 100,000 SHU)

Today's pepper was the Thai Pepper. Specifically, it was the Thai Dragon Pepper. This pepper was pretty intense, but I think I'd still call it a disappointment because I had such high expectations for it. I mean, sure, it was really hot. In fact, it wasn't really "spicy" as much as just "painful", but I've had peppers similar than this in the Philippines called Siling Labuyo and I was hoping for a kick on par with those.

Nevertheless, these peppers were very hot.

I had a pretty horrible realization today, though. I've eaten 7 out of 10 peppers. I have three left, the Habanero, the Red Savina, and the Ghost Pepper. However, I've only gotten though about 10% of the Scoville scale! This means that 90% of this challenge's heat is in these three peppers!

So these next three will really test my resolve and my digestive track. Here's the Thai Pepper.

Tomorrow is the Habanero. See you then ... I hope ...

Ghost Pepper Challenge: Level 6 - Cayenne Powder (30,000 - 50,000 SHU)

This one is going to take some explanation...

I looked for a long time to find a fresh cayenne pepper. I looked in every local store I could find. I looked online. I even asked around on /r/SpicySwap. 

For the life of me, I cannot seem to find a fresh, whole cayenne pepper. The closest I've come is Cayenne powder and a few hot sauces.

So I had to settle for powder.

I know that the scoville ratings for cayenne powders vary quite a bit. I tried to find one that didn't have any other ingredients, just the ground pepper. Conventional wisdom says that drying a pepper does not significantly change its scoville rating. Grinding it to powder would not significantly change it unless certain parts, such as the seeds, are left out.

In addition, I felt, for safety's sake, that I should add something to the powder in order to keep this from turning into a horrible, horrible variation on the Cinnamon Challenge. 

I added just a little bit of water. I chose water because, once again, it does nothing to cool the heat of the pepper.

So in the video, the paste you see on the spoon is a mix cayenne powder, and a small amount of water.

If anyone has any objections to the way I've approached this level, let me just say that I totally share your concerns. Find me a fresh cayenne pepper and I'll eat it.

Ghost Pepper Challenge: Level 5 - Serrano Pepper (10,000 - 23,000 SHU)

Well, I think I've finally gotten to the point where the peppers are getting interesting. The first few were a huge, boring disappointment, as expected. The Jalapeno was surprisingly hot. Now the Serrano was pretty significant.

It took four tries, though. I ate three peppers, which was all I had. The second one was the only one with any real heat, but it wasn't even as bad as the Sriracha sauce. I ran out and bought one more, thinking that maybe I just picked a few duds. I picked the largest, ripest looking one there, and I sure picked a winner...

I still haven't broken a sweat, but for some reason these peppers are making my face tingle. Can anyone tell me if that's normal?

Ghost Pepper Challenge: Level 4 - Jalapeno (2,500 - 8,000 SHU)

I'm thoroughly humbled right now. The jalapeno still wasn't all that bad overall, but I'll admit that it had a much bigger kick than I thought it would. I've had raw jalapenos in the past many times, but I've never had one like this. It wasn't really the spiciness that was bad as much as the fact that I just wasn't ready for it.

It wasn't so bad that I was dying for milk or anything, but I'm getting to the point where I might need a glass handy for future peppers. My next pepper is potentially three times hotter than this one.

For the sake of variety, after I ate the raw pepper, I tried to down a few of those little slices you get jarred at the store. Their heat was nothing compared to the raw pepper. In fact, I stopped eating them because they almost felt like they were cooling my mouth off.

So that's the jalapeno. I told you I would lose my arrogance once I hit a pepper that really got to me. This was it. I really wasn't expecting it to burn like it did.

This pepper has won my respect...

Ghost Pepper Challenge: Level 3 - Anaheim Pepper + Sriracha Sauce (1000-2000 SHU)

Today I had an Anaheim Pepper. These peppers are rated between 1,000 and 2,000 SHU. The pepper by itself was pretty disappointing. However, I knew this pepper had a pretty wide range of heat. As I mention in the video, I've seen numbers for it as low as 500 SHU, and I just wasn't interested in another pepper so boring.

So I picked up a bottle of Sriracha sauce (~2000 SHU in US), cut a section of pepper off the bottom to form a sort of cup, filled it with the sauce, and downed it.

It took a second, but this was the first time during this challenge that I felt any real heat. The Bell Pepper, of course, is rated at 0 for a reason, and the Peperoncini was really more sour than it was spicy, though it did have a little kick to it.

Honestly, the Anaheim pepper, by itself, wasn't even as hot as the Peperoncini. It did have a little heat after a few seconds, but it was almost imperceptible.

Sriracha saved me...

(Hysterical laughter is due to off-screen shenanigans...)

So there was a little heat there, but still no challenge. No sweat, nothing serious.

However, I did feel a little. I look forward to the next few days. 

I'm still waiting to be challenged...

Ghost Pepper Challenge: Level 2 - Peperoncini (100-900 SHU)

This was another boring day. I can't wait for tomorrow, but today I just had a Peperoncini. I can't say I'm intimidated by any pepper that comes on a salad, but once again, I'm sure I'll lose that arrogance in a few days.

For now, though, the most challenging thing about these early peppers is not the heat, but the lack thereof. Just like the Bell Pepper, there isn't much to say about the Peperoncini. I'm excited for this to start getting more challenging, though.

Tomorrow can't come soon enough.

Here's the video for today, though:

Ghost Pepper Challenge: Level 1 - Bell Pepper (0 SHU)

The humble Bell Pepper. To my knowledge, it is the only pepper with a Scoville rating of 0, meaning that even after being diluted 0 times, it has no detectable heat.

It's a pretty modest beginning to what I think will turn out to be a pretty difficult challenge in a few days.

The worst part of eating a chunk of Bell Pepper was all the bitter parts inside which I did not remove. The more intense peppers I'll be eating later will be eaten whole, so I decided to eat this pepper whole, too. I literally just cut a good chunk off and ate it. It actually tasted pretty awful.

Anyway, here's the video:

I'll admit I'm bored by this. I mean, it's a Bell Pepper! Challenge me! Oh well, soon I'll be eating my words...

When the peppers get hotter, I'll stick around for a bit after to describe the heat, etc, but for a Bell Pepper, there's not a whole lot to say. Who doesn't know what a Bell Pepper tastes like?

Keep following along! My prediction is that this will start to get interesting around Level 3...

Ghost Pepper Challenge

Redditor DiavelNJ has issued the challenge to eat a Ghost Pepper or a Trinidad Moruga Scorpian. I'm going to try both.

The rules of the challenge are:

1. I must greet DiavelNJ in the video.
2. Prove what the pepper is.
3. Chew for 15 seconds.
4. Swallow.
5. Sing about what is occuring in my mouth.
6. No liquids for five minutes.

Reward:

• Three months of reddit gold from DiavelNJ.
• An additional month from Redditor_in_Wild.

I tried for quite a while to find these peppers, but finally had to order them online. I've got some time to kill while I wait for them to show up. So in the mean time, I'm going to eat peppers all the way up the Scoville scale until I get to the Ghost Pepper.

Here's the plan:

1. Bell Pepper (0 SHU)
2. Peperoncini (100-900 SHU)
3. Anaheim Pepper + Sriracha Sauce (1K - 2.5K SHU)
4. Jalapeno Pepper (2.5K -8K SHU)
5. Serrano Pepper (10K - 23K SHU)
6. Cayenne Pepper (30K - 50K SHU)
7. Thai Pepper (50K - 100K SHU)
8. Habanero Pepper (100K - 350K SHU)
9. Red Savina Habanero (350K - 580K SHU)
10. Bhut Jolokia "Ghost" Pepper (855K - 1,463K SHU)

Bonus: Trinidad Moruga Scorpian (1500K - 2000K SHU)

Tomorrow, it begins...

Two Week Burrito Challenge: The Wrap Up

So the chllenge is officially over.

Here is an update that Yishan posted half-way through the challenge.

Here is the announcement by Yishan that the challenge is over.

And here is the final results, also by Yishan.

I have sent the final verification to Yishan and he has given me a total of 24 months of Reddit gold, for 24 days of burritos.

Once I was free of burritos, I went and had sushi at Sakura, in Orem UT.

It's like a little japanese burrito!

So that's it for this one! Thanks to Yishan and thanks to everyone who followed along!

Two Week Burrito Challenge: Day 24

This is it. The big day. Today I eat my final challenge-related burritos. Tomorrow, I eat non-burrito food. I went back to Malena's today because a friend of mine told me that when I went yesterday, I did it wrong. Apparently, I should have gotten green sauce, not red, and pinto beans, not black.

So back I went.

He was right about the sauce. I'll give him that.

Then I went to work and finally finished off those disgusting microwave burritos. Had the last three. In a strange sort of poetic twist, I finished those dreaded, awful microwave bricks on the same day I finished this glorious challenge. They were my last meal.

So that's it for this one. One final verification will be sent to Yishan and I'm gonna hit the buffet.

Two Week Burrito Challenge: Day 23

Today we officially moved into our new place. The constant threat of homelessness is gone. We decided to celebrate by exploring our new locale, Ephraim, UT.

We found this little mexican place called Malena's Cafe. This place was amazing. Easily one of the best burritos I've had throughout this challenge.

Got a Beef Barbacoa Burrito. Also, horchata.

Later on, I went to work to use a computer to post this. We don't have internet in our new place yet. So while I'm sitting there waiting for my co-workers to finish their actual work, I decided to kill time by getting rid of a few more of those disgusting microwave burritos.

So that was my day today. I think I'm going to call tomorrow my last day of the challenge. 24 days. Two solid years of Gold. That's good enough. Besides, I'm excited to move on to the next challenge. 

Anyone know where I can get my hands on a fresh Ghost Pepper?...

Two Week Burrito Challenge: Day 22

Just had one burrito today at work. It had beans, ground beef, rice, cheese, sour cream. Pretty bleh, but it was alright.

Oh well. If I get hungry enough, I may break into the freezer again.